~ Taking a chance ~

this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

2005-06-20T22:04:05Z

hey whats up!

i know i haven't updated in awhile, but hey, whatelse is new.. this weekend was super good.. friday night Randy and I went to cherry pie ( yes yes, a lesbian club ), but in reality we had a really good time. I made sure he felt comfortable there, because im all about making everyone happy in their surroundings. They played a lot of spanish music and some r+b.. the atmosphere was really nice.. its CLUB o ' Zone, but friday nights its for Lesbians.. and its ages 18-25 id say, mostly femme girls. It was funny because there was a dancer, and she was on the stage.. and people give money and all, and i put a dollar bill in my mouth, and pointed my finger for her to come to me.. and she took it right out of my mouth with her lips! it def looked sexy, as so i was told.
Randy and I have bonded so much these past 3-4 months. I realized what a true friend he has been to me. I dont like comparing anyone ,because everyone is their own person, has different views/beliefs on different issues, and he just understands me completely, and I am so thankful for that. He is always there, no matter what, with arms wide open. I am really excited to go to Orlando with Randy and his family.
Saturday night was fun as well. Randy, Dave, Ryan, Andrew, Gina, Christina and Ana came over, we watched a movie. Afterwards, Christina, Randy and I decided to make videos of me being myself, extremely weird, and I have to admit, the VIDEOS are amazing. I never really expected them to be as hilarious as they are.
Sunday I spent the day with family. We went out at night with my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. It was really nice.. I was really happy to be together as a family. I was actually wishing Brian, Kevin and Jenn would have been there, because I would have really felt the bonding experience, but overall, it was great. My dad even wore the pin that came in the card.. and we saw some other dad wearing the same one.. I think as that moment, my dad felt cool, I mean, lol hes always cool! lol. =D
I am excited about starting Chili's. I think it is going to fit me perfect. I don't want to assume anything, I dont want to expect anything, this way, I'll see how it is, and if anything, I'll be in for a surprise, and who knows, I may be really happy about the change I have made.
Amanda, is the girl I have been talking to for the past month or so, and she is leaving in a week to go to NY, and I am def going to miss her, But she has to go, and I know she will be back before I can open my eyes. Just taking things day by day with her,trying to understand and have patience :) She's a really special girl!
I spoke to my brother Brian a little while ago, and I actually felt really good about the conversation. He made me feel accepted for ONCE. I actually got the chills when he began to ask me about Amanda, just the way he asked, like he really did care, he said " so what is she into, what is she like.. " .. I was so speechless for a minute, i was like, wow:) He sang me a new song he has recently wrote about his girlfriend Jennifer( who I really like, but id really like to get to know ). The song is great. I am really happy that they are happy, I want nothing more than to see my little HBB happy.. Afterall, I am his BIGGEST fan!

Hope everyone is doing well, and I'll update on here soon enough,
and thats a promise-

for now, take care.... until next time

Lauren Michelle

T

this isnt a dream

2005-05-19T05:41:45Z

WOW, updating on here! this is quite interesting. thank you to my brother for putting up an away message about your journal, and i read it , and i was like, gee, sounds like ill be updating my journal sometime soon.. and here i am.. if he calls me a CC, im so slapping him. lol.. ::slaps::

So, HELLO! ::waves::

It has been a long 3months or so, since I have updated.

Leaving cheeburger was extremely emotional for me; and I dont think I have been the same since. I worked for Cheeburger for over a year, but to me, It was a lifetime. I knew each and every customer by name, what they ordered, and I made it my life. Everything revolved around the place. I would work over 60 hours, and just stay on my feet, and be as happy as could be. Knowing I could be myself there, was just an ultimate gift. I felt extremely special there, and I can honestly say they LOVED me there, and I was a big loss to the company. My little dream with Cheeburger didn't turn out the way I might have expected it to be, but hey, Everything happens for a reason. We all move on. ::waves to cheeburger::

We all know Christina and I have been over since August, but we dated on and off Until December; thats when it ended. But I finally let it go this past week. I have been working extremely hard with my therapist on it. It has been 10 days since I have cried/ The only time I spoke to her was to tell her now that im 18, I got my own phone under my own name. It was a kind thing to do. Surprisngly, I didn't break down to her over the phone, or better yet afterwards! I honestly didnt have to put a mask on while talking to her. What a relief. My friend gave me awesome advice, this was what she told me " An Ex is an Ex for a reason ". I truly believe that. I feel peaceful inside, and I want nothing more than to see Christina happy.

I am now working at Empire Pizza Cafe; a Fine dining Italian Resturaunt. I really enjoy working there. Its owned by a jewish family, who are so down to earth. They actually take the time and put forth effort into everything they do in their resturaunt, which makes me really happy. The cooks are happy, they dont question us on " what we need " , busboys, are happy to bus tables, and very they appreciate any extra few bucks we give them;) I am usually really picky about work uniforms; I dislike it. I can say its very masculine. It's a dark gray collard shirt, with black sleeves, and black pants, buy hey, I always make things bright. I wear bright colored bracelets, not rainbow ones! lol. My server book is decorated, so I try to make it " Me " . I felt really good the other day, when I was working, and a group of people came in, and yelled out, whats up cheeburger girl! and they were like, telling me how it isnt the same over there without me. Or how about when I was at the mall with Randy, I ran into my alltime favorite customers, Steven and Brenda. They have never seen me in regular clothes, they were like " Lauren! You look GREAT " . Im like, hm.. with a smile on my face. So I am waitressing, and I am getting into Catering, we'll see how my first night of that goes on Friday night. 86 people, for a graduation party. I love the people I work with. Jennie entertains the place; especially me. I think the move I have recently made, was for the better. I have moved up in my field- what I am really good doing, and most important, what I enjoy doing.

My 18th birthday was awesome:) I sent an email out with pictures and little comments, so I wont really ramble on about it, All i can say is Thanks for making my day, great:)

Keeping busy is most likely the best thing I am doing right now. Working, but not overworking. Going out with friends; meeting people. Going out to new places, seeing new things. Dating has been hard for me the past few months, It gets easier and easier as each day goes by. I have met a few girls, I am just feeling them out, and seeing who is out there.

a cute little story:

a year ago, I was at dennys with little kevin*, and these 4 lesbians walk in, and one girl and I had eye contact hardcore.. and we didnt say anything. I left the resturaunt, and said to kevin, she was soo cute! lol. so randomly the next day, I was in a lesbian chatroom, and I get an IM saying " Were u in dennys last night " , i was like yes! lol. it happened to be her.. She always asked me to go visit her at her work, I always brushed it aside for some odd reason. Probably because I was scared to get to know someone new. So the other day, Randys over.. and were on the comp hangin out,and she randomly IMed me out of nowhere, keep in mind I havent spoken to her in a good 3-4months, and we were havin small talk, she invited randy and I in her resturaunt for dinner. We decided to go, and wow. did she look cute;) So anyhow, I have a date with her on sunday, heres the little scoop I know so far. Shes 22, her family owns the disalvos on 441 between sheriden and taft. shes a manager there, works 40-50 hours a week. Doesnt do drugs,smoke or drink. family oriented, openly gay, and we have a few important things in common, carebears! lol:P thats just as important as the headlines in the paper about Star Wars, and American Idol. I wont even go into that, I'll start having a debate with myself. Society amazes me, The world is in Denial about things that go on. Nothing tends to amaze me anymore these days. So Her name is Dena, and she is very outgoing like me;) a little description, shes 5'2-love the shortness!, brown hair,(short spiked) brown eyes,style: a little hollister boy! LOVE IT. shes talks feminine. and comes across that way, but her style is quite cute, not punkish, not girlie, just very cute.im all about smile. teeth are a very important thing on a person. she does have a cute smile, that makes me smile, and feel little butterflies inside.hehe* we shall see how sunday night goes, and even thought I wanted to take her out, she insisted in on taking me... i feel like a girl. lol.

I have made a little change. Ready? I am going to go to BCC, so I can atleast be proud of myself for doing something useful, and hay if it isnt for me, than I'll know in my heart, it wasnt for me. I will start off and take two classes; and work.

My parents and I have been getting along, and It feels very healthy. My brother kevin called up the house the other day, and I felt really good after we hung up, I looked at the time, and yes folks, it was a normal 10 minute conversation, not a Hiiiiii... wheres mom.... Byeee. " I felt so good. ::claps::

Sounds like everything is falling into place:P

Good week to look forward to.

Working all day/night tomorrow.
Friday- day-cleaning car/room/ @night catering
Saturday- working during the day; and going out with Mama,Papa, Mommy,Daddy and Uncle rand for My parents 25th ann. I am really happy to spend time with them. It's very rare we are all free.
Sunday- I am working during the day, and my date with Dena is that night.

My mom asked me a very interesting question the other day, she asked me how many times I thought I looked in the mirror each day.. I said about 30- lol.. Girls are Girls!

Gay Prom is on June 4th~

I think I am starting to believe in myself, and really believe everythign happens for a reason. For whatever reason is, that I had gotton off track, I am slowly pushing myself back on. Once your down, It can ONLY get better, right?

A quote that is so true:
" You cant buy a ticket for a train that has already left. Miles away." That is so true, it makes me think I cant go back with Christina, because its already gone. In reality, If I get back with her in a year, It wont be the old Christina and Lauren it used to be. It will be two new people.

Another quote I enjoy thinking about

" Dance like theres nobody watching, sing like theres nobody listening, love like you'll never get hurt, live like theres heaven on earth "

I went shopping at Dillards the other day. I found out what an expense it is shopping there, for certain name brands. I am trying to improve my style, into an older, more sophisticated, girl.

I am going to start writing in here more.

for now, Goodnight. xoxo Love, Lauren

blunt

2005-02-09T00:25:06Z

I'm Gay, yes gay. That's right I said it. I'm not afraid of it. You can't "change" me or "turn me back", it doesn't work that way. It's not a disease, if you're around me, you won't catch it. Don't stare at me like I belong in a cage. Not "fashionably" gay either. Thanks.

lovely

2005-01-30T07:56:14Z

tonight was swell,
my best friend came over, kevin! i love u babe! he bought a brand new car, under his name**very proud of u.. a navy blue jetta, hot!, so he was all excited, and i was like yay ::claps hands:: lol. so he came to my house and we werent all in the mood to go out, we were just happy 2 spend quality time together, since we rearely get to do that between work and all that jazz** so, we layed down, pluffled, took pictures, than he got some weird craving for a damn icecream at mc donalds, so we went to mcdonalds, to get my little sweetheart an oreo mcflurry, u would think a fast food resturaunt would give u one in 4minutes or so, nope. took us 11 minutes, firgure this, u pull into the drive through with 1 car ahead of you, which doesnt seem to bad.. but who knows, the person happened to order the whole menu, and whatnot, maybe even the store.. so we pull up to the window and i say to the girl " is snoop dog in there, .. whats in there? a party " lol.. and she looked at me and laughed.. and kevin said to her " do u think shes cute? " and the girl said " YEA, shes a keeper.. is she ur girlfriend... " we looked at eachother and both said " were gay " classic line. she said oh shit, let me get my manager hes gay too! (so the manager comes out) and starts hittin on kevin..... so we got the damn mcflurry and left.. i fed him on the way back to my house, lovely date;) haha..we went back to my house..and talked about shit.. we than figured out that theres a sale at hollister tomorrow, and ONLY tomorrow 25 percent off on anything. damn! were getting matching valentine day shirts woo! hey everyone kevin and i are eachothers valentine this year! lol! a gay boy is my valentine! hM! lol.. well maybe sandra will be mine too.. hm? that would be hot... tight work as my boys say! lol.. so yeah, kein and i are going for lunch and the mall tomorrow, and at night i have a date w/ sandra... thats all for now kids

*FREDDY AND I HUNG OUT 2night after kevin left, and weve discovered, that christina was my problem and his too, shes a LIAR! he was right all along.... *
" I got 99 problems..and a bitch aint one " so true!

a cute story..

2005-01-29T18:41:42Z

So you know how i meet girls online and stuff..ive only ctually met 3 girls offline, and they were kinda not my type.. so yeah, i never called any of them back.. so i kept getting these IMS from this one girl recently and i spoke 2 her for a few minutes, and something got into my head that she was th is ghetto girl.. i guess from her sn and all, so i blew her off, and Xed out her IMS.. lol than a few days ago i IMed her to say Hi, and etc.. and she sounded ghetto still but i didnt wanna be mean..so shes like can i call u? and i was like.. um, sure? so i gave her my cell number, she called me and i hung up on her, cause i got nervous and all-! ha. lol.. meanwhile.. i didnt even think twice about her..and yesterday she called me and wanted 2 meet me.. i was at the mall and running errands..and she was doing her stuff.. so i told her to call me when she was done with her stuff..
Than i told my dad about her. Shes 18, goes to FAU, works 3 jobs, she sings, which is hot:P and better yet, shes JEWISH! and lives 10min from me.. and not even that.. so my dad pumped me up to meet her, because in all honesty i wasnt going to meet her.. so he told me to invite her over, which i did;) and sure enough, the most beautiful girl stepped out of her car onto my driveway
5"1 , 120lbs , great body, nice boobs,long blond hair, beautiful green eyes, and she dresses so PREPPY! she was wearing these faded, holey jeans with a bright orange preppy collard shirt from hollister shirt. ORGASMIC.. better yet, she has a rainbow pink attached to the hip of her jeans saying " I kiss girls! " lol.. my type of girl right there.
she was like DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, so it was around 4pm. and originally she was just gonna stay for a few min to meet.. she ended up stayed till about 8! cause she had plans w her friends, so i was like go out, have fun. and she told me she wanted to see me the next day;) so meanwhile.. she left my house. and i was like spinning in circles because this girl was sooo cute-! not even an hr later, she calls me and tells me " her plans fell thru " .. and she was like hmmm.. and i was like well come out w me to my club:) and she was like no i dont wanna bother u and ur friends.. and i told her i wanted to take her there, so she came back to my house;) changed her clothes into sexy clothes to go out, she was all ironing her hair at my house..thats such a turn on i swear.. a girl that gets ready like me! lol.. so we left my house around 10, and we were gonna go straight to the club, but she told me she was hungry, so i took her to dinner, ::holds hand:: her hands are so LITTLE!! (yum) .. as were walking into the resturaunt she told me she was cold, and i felt bad, i didnt have a sweatshirt, so shes like lets check ur car.. meanwhile, she grabbed one of my work shirts and put it on!! i melted.. even cuter.. i didnt eat, but she ordered a grilled cheese.. of ALL things she can order, i told her to order anything on the menu she wanted.. and thats what she ordered without me saying one word that i liked them! lol..so that 2 me made me smile, so we left the resturaunt, and went to the club.. and keep in mind she doesnt like guys, or gay guys to hang out with..so i knew this was gonna be hard.. considering i took her to a gay boys club. lol.. so we danced.. shes an AMAZING dancer.and shes got an ass.. damn.. that cute butt was vibrating to the beats and all.. better yet she pulled me up on the stage to dance w her-! my friends took pics w there camera's so they'll send me pics! than about an hr later, her feet were hurting and she was tired.. so i was thinking maybe it was me? was i boring? but on the way home, she was like im kinda tired, but im not..so i said, aw... and i was like well do u wanna come in my house for a little bit!>? and shes like yea only if i can lay down..and i was like yea we can watch TV or something.. so the second we walk into the living room, shes like.. blanket? lol. SO PRECIOUS! so i changed into my pjays, and i layed down with her, and fit her perfectly in between my legs.. not in a sexual way, and we watched fresh prince, which made me think of my BROTHER KEVIN! (lol) and as much as i hate that show, i loved watching it with her, because 5minutes later she fell asleep on me, and every 10minutes she wud change positions.. lol.. and she was talking into her sleep, and i was asking her funny questions, and lol.. and my friends kept calling, and i was putting her on the phone with them- lol.. and shes like whoa? lol. i was tickling her arms, and massaging her back while she was sleeping, she LOVED that, and i said to her, "whose the cutest girl in the world "and i was expecting her to say " WHO? " but no, she says " ME!" she tells me shes the cutest girl, and all i could say was very true babe.. anyhow.. i kissed her softly on her lips while she was sleeping.. and she said to me in her sleep " u kissed me " and i said is that bad? and she said no and smiled and breathed heavily.. and aw.. around 3:30am i woke her up and told her she had to go home, i walked her outside to her car.. and she thanked me for a good night and kissed my lips about 5times;P damn! nice. i love taking things slow with girls, it makes it a challenge. im sitting here in my pjays cause i woke up a little while ago, and i smell like her perfume all over my shirt, im LOVING this.. im not running after this girl or nething, shes to cute.. shes gonna come get me, she called me at 4am when she got home to let me know she got in safe, and she called me when she woke up this morning, and we talked for an hour.. shes out with her mom right now eating lunch, and she said afterwards she wants to see me.. im just laying back and enjoying this..

WORK starts MONDAY MORNING a t 10am.

I love to ramble about cute things that make me smile! "Thats Ho"

and heres to Everytime I drive by a walgreens, to say " WALGREENS " .. lol.. (sandra) xoxox

My song on my journal for today goes to last night at the resturaunt, so TRUE! "

hey yall

2005-01-29T02:53:39Z

whats up everyone
10 mintues till 10:oopm.. just wanted 2 update this thing since i havent done it in this while.. hope everyone is doin ok:)
I quit cheeburger cheeburger on las o las, and i transfered to a closer one, near my house.. which is pretty cool..
other than work, everything else is swell:) family is doin good, friends are awesome;) ive been hanging out w ian and simon a lot.. and ive been hanging out w work friends a lot
tonight im going to collisiuem, i miss that place;)
im gonna see dante,joey,anyhtony,jason and all my gay boys-! i love them<3 haha im hoping kevin will be there too.. that would be cool as hell..

i got the cutest sandals at hollister yesterday to match this shirt i got from there..

anyway, i gotta get going here..

heres to my new rainbow sandals/ and a good night at coli with the cutest girl EVER!!!!!!

3 am update sounds good to me

2005-01-18T08:04:40Z

whats up yall..?

not to much havent upd ated in a few days, been workin, hanging w friends, etc. IDIGRESS was great last week, and this week i am bringing my dad too! AMAZING! ::blonding with drew is always a fun time::
Today I slept till about 3:oo in the afternoon, went straight to work, rather should i say "foward to work" lol.. and i worked from 4-10, good money, for a slow night, gotta love em' double gratter people;) hehe.. after work aaron came over, and we went to dennys, where i think ive found myself a second job.. , no not the one melanie works at, the one on university.. so called the most busy store in south florida... nice to hear.. so id be picking up like 3 shifts there, night time, either 5-11, or like 11pm-6am.. i can pull an all nighter, go to work at cheeburger 10-4, than sleep than.. i love making money, ill figure something out.. ive chilled out going out everynight, i go out to see a rock band wednesday nights, and sometimes i go out on friday nights, other than that, i think thats it, work, sleep, talk on phone, hang out at a friends apartment, thats my lovely life. any extra money i can make now, is wonderful.. its always good to save.. so than aaron and i just drove around and talked.. and i got tired..so i went home, and here i am, i cant sleep and im on here.. and i have work in.. 6 1/2 hours.. whatever. my sleep pattern its so off, i wont even b other messing with it now, lol.
i need to take a trip sometime soon to the broward mall, or should i be more specific and say HOLLISTER.. yea i def wanna buy some stuff. i need pants, i need long sleeves, i need a 2nd job for more money, and i need a girl..

not that i need a second job, i want one
so im a waitress right, and i make great money, right...so yeah i got my paycheck for one week today, and lol it was 200bucks. i was like shit. amazing. lol. and lately ive been averaging abouy 20 an hour.. true that..

ive recently upgraded my cell phone minutes, folks you heard me, 2,500 minutes, no way im going over my minutes now:)

Last night i hung out with the famous ben wacks.. neb meister.. amazing times, starbucks and 2 his casa. hes doing good w school, and has a girlfriend of like 7months, he seems really happy.. we had good talks..and were gonna be hanging out more often..we both have been busy lately, aw and ben got a job at the temple. how cute-! a hebrew school tutor/barmitzvah tutor.. i was like little nebs!! yay!

everything has been just dandy

i feel like pluffling... but who to pluffle with..?

for now i got my pillows..
i need to make a trip to BABY R US.. to get shmaztzees, because im missing mine so bad.. alex through him out @ ians house when we were drunk..and that was my last shmatz.. and he smelled so good.. and so much like my house

heres to the shmaztzala's ...... much love to you all

xoxox love lauren

hooters girls are incredible, and so is the calender

2005-01-12T05:11:57Z

so i bought a hooters calnder for 10 bucks... HOTness-!

I went to the doctor today for my wrist, and everything seemed to go okay, ::knock on wood::

I worked from 4-9 made 50 bucks.. eh could have been worse..

I had a family of 5, and they were asking me about my love life, etc..and i wasnt thinking, and i somehow told them i had a boyfriend... as im looking at my wristband(rainbow) im thinking.. what a shmucky comment i just made.. i havent yet made that mistake.. so yada yada.. their food comes out, everything is good..and the mom says to me, ya know lauren.. were from NJ.. i said cool... she says.. we already SAW your wristband.. i go uh huh.. and she says right on! i go, ya know, im sorry, i lied. and i shouldnt have, i came out last year, and since than ive been honest with myself, and others, and i dont know what happened..and i got all nervous.shes like so do u have a girlfriend.. i was like... i DID. lol. i had one for a year.. and she broke my heart.. and its been 2 days since ive spoken 2 her.. i have YET to answer one of her phone calls.. TRUE!! im so proud! lol! so yea, ended up getting myself a 15dollar tip from that family... nice

after work around 9:30 i went to hooters @ riverfront w the boys, in work clothes. amazing. cheeburgered out. what can i say? like cheeburgers? lol.

got home around 12, and here i am

in lesbian chat rooms...
it keeps me busy

until tomorrrow

love lauren

9:53pm on a saturday night- what an amazing thing!

2005-01-09T03:02:51Z

HOME! amazing- i thought id be at work till atleast midnight! this is absoloutly incredible-! i couldnt sleep last night, i was completely awake. rob and i had a lovely conversation about how he goes out of state to conventions.. for races.. i said WOW! what do u race? he races a remote control car-! LMAO! a battery operated car.. i said " how long is the race " ? he said each one is about 20-25minutes. i said HM!!!! i said, so what do u do BEFORE AND AFTER THE RACE... he said ' practice all day for the next race... ' he's been doing this for 20 years and has yet to win a race. LOL. dont u just wanna sit down, and think how ridiculous it is... this is his hobby.... and i said racing remote control cars aint gonna get u laid boy! lol.. i was just jokin around w him tho.. hey it was a good laugh

work was good today, it was the art festival

HIGHLIGHTS: making good money, seeing my regulars, getting home by 9:30,
LOWLIGHTS: christina called my work(but i was so strong!) , my wrist is still hurting me, new manager on wednesday..better yet, dominuqes girlfriend..so a lesbian manager.. this resturaunt is gonna be a replaying episode of a mixture between the L word and Seinfeld! LESBIANISM IN THE HOUSE! dramaaaaa;) im so excited-!

anyway, heading down to miami beach with the boys tonight, and no i am not drinking, because im one of the drivers. yippy... why get drunk when ur al ready having fun? ya no?

im out!
*if anyone has any girls theyd like to introduce me to, hint hint... cute ones............... hit meee uppp!** love lauren

12:00

2005-01-08T05:04:12Z

first off, happy birthday to my best friend who has been there for me since 7th grade every time ive needed him. I hope u have an awesome day&night whatever you do:) this year has been hectic for both of us, and I cant wait to start seeing you more BEN! i love you, always and forever.. Just remember.. this actually goes for both of us " Girls come in and out of our lives, but best friends will ALWAYS be there** " BEN and LAUREN BFF AAF 143 NEBMEISTERR!

today was DAY 1 i didnt talk to christina- actually feeling confident and proud, ONE DAY is huge for me, we usually talk 15 times a day, texts,emails, phone calls........today was complete nothing and to be honest i felt good, I got a good boost up from Freddie.. great guy..

Danny always puts a smile on my face, He has been great! I am going up to gainsville to stay with him for a weekend at the end of this month:) and yes alex i will visit you to darling!!

My dad and I watched seinfeld last night for 2 hours, lovely

* I got a protable DVD player, its kick ass *
I bought the Seinfeld box set- GREAT!
and i bought the cinderella story- Hilary Duff.. amazing. hot. beautiful... yum " Dont let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game " - Hilary Duff

work has been good, i was M.O.D tonight which was extremely exciting, i was so happy when i got to work tonight to find that out

Physical therapy on my wrist on tuesday*
Pay day is monday
The weekend is here, and the art festival is all weekend at work
Cousin Jesse is in town

and im feeling good

untill tomorrow

xoxox love lauren

30 minutes to kill

2005-01-04T16:07:47Z

so lately i have been having my ups and downs, my heads been spinning all around. dannys been a great friend to me, and elaine actually came through too for me:) (thank u guys!) so im trying my hardest to get over christina, but as we all know i run back for more.. more hurt, more pain, more tears... this time around IM DONE! i mean that when i say that.. i mean, yeah her and i have had our good times.. but we had so many bad times, that i dont think i could ever forget.. its horrible.. last night i went to ians place in boca and hung out with some of his friends from UF and FAU etc.. drank,and had fun! a few shots was good... def needed that!!
anyways.. i am just staying single... dates are ok, when i ifind the right one......... she will be my girlfriend

for now single baby

lauren

are prank phone calls history or what..?

2005-01-01T21:17:09Z

so whats the deal with dialing *67.. does it work? it is there to make u feel like your hiding your number.. well it definatly scared me last night, along with brian and jenn.. so.. " whats the punch line " ..that sounded a little weird..big white teeth.. lol........ and the fact that he got my number and called me back- well my mom slept with me the WHOLE night-!

so christina called me last night to wish me a happy new year..but that didnt make me feel any better than i was feeling..if anything it made me so sad..

this morning i completely cut her off everything UNTIL she is ready to be with me, i cant handle the phone calls, or emails, or text messeges saying how much she loves me..damnit.. ive been crying every day since i left tampa, how.. lovely?

i slept 13 hours last night, that hasnt happened in a long time-

tonight my plans are up in the air, between hanging out w ian in sunrise, kevin? or just being alone...maybe i was meant to be alone..who knows.. im debating whether to go back to sleep or not. i cant think about anything else but christina. when i close my eyes i see her, i feel her, i smell her, im in love with her, and nobody fucking sees it.

love lauren

happy new year

2005-01-01T03:38:49Z

first time in..1,2,3,4 years since ive spent new years with the fam.. well folks.. u heard right... this year was spent w/ fam.. brian and jen are in town.and we have been playing with superbuddys all night online..interesting " no no no ".. " i dont think so "..wow..easily human beings..what else is there 2 say?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
brian- PORK FRIED RICE YEAH!!

anyways, my wrist is still in pain, well on a good note, im off work tomorrow and sunday so rock on:P

xoxo love lauren

in reality- i miss christina and im feeling pretty down about it, because im actually missing her like crazy tonight.. last year was the best.. christina came down from tampa, and my friends and christina and i went to the M'Grill..and than christina and i went back to the hotel to ring in the new year together..which was really nice..cuddling and just spending time together.. better stop before the tears bein to roll..........................

gotta be in the mood-

2004-12-30T16:11:23Z

an hour to spare before work, why not write an entry?

update:

~* Sprained my wrist scooping EDYS icecream *~
~* Work has been hectic and on a waiting list *~
~* I got my heart broken by christina.. *~
~* The new simple plan CD- i love- *~
~* Kevin has been here for a week and now leaving *~
~* Brian and Jenn coming in tonight *YAY* ~*
~* New Years- Probably building a fire in the keys with danny!! ~*
~* Jon, my manager got fired! YES! ~*
~* The new hollister clothes out now are addicting ~*
~* Havent been to a club in almost a month, and i feel like going this weekend:) ~*

So everything has been just odd. lol i dont know..

So at work we were in the " weeds " and the kitchen staff needs some serious work, the food was getting backed up to 45-55min... meanwhile,
A. who throws there shake on the floor and leaves the resturaunt
B. Who eats, doesnt pay, and walk out
C. than theres the patient people who make a joke out of it and dont mind waiting an hour for there burgers..but they dont know they get a free meal.. because we were so backed up.
Well folks, those are my customers. lol. such happy campers.
We decided to change the name from cheeburger cheeburger to " FREEBURGER FREEBURGER "... we gave away so many free meals last night that we h ad to close at 8 : ridiculous~

So when i went up to tampa i thought everything was going great...she gave me a ring and told me she would do anything for me.. her parents find out were together and get pissed.. they are now threatning me.. oOOh.. im scared;) so christina was intimidated by her parents and broke it off w/ me

I dont like the games...........

I just wanna have fun:)

Ready for a 12 hour shift today. FUN

Until next time,
Laurbabe

its been awhile

2004-12-18T02:57:35Z

christina and i are working things out

melanie is history- comlete history- i ask myself why i did that, and i still tend to be lost and i cant find an answer..................

christina im sorry...............

actions are louder than words

its time to do some changin before its to late

*planning on moving to tampa in may* starting new may be a good idea- moving away may even better- brilliant idea..................*

4hrs i will lay from my hometown of 17 1/2 years..............

goodnight moon

and mom- im sorry, u did nothing wrong............ i guess.. im sorry for my lifestyle........ someday you'll understand who i am.. but for now, i am alone....................... and noone understands me except the one person i love, christina......... im marrying you

well

2004-11-25T19:40:54Z

melanie turned out to be something shes not

christina and i are going to work things out

happy thanksgiving

xoxo love lauren

well hello

2004-11-19T20:10:46Z

long time no update
christina and i are no longer together- said and done. no drama what so ever. we seem to be doin okay about the situation. someday i know in my heart, she will always be my friend.. like she promised me that one night**

So im keeping busy with work, friends, and family. working about 50 hours a week, going to Cathode, Jays, Collisium, and Fever.. I am looking forward to checkin out voo doo lounge sometime soon..and my friends are planning on taking me to a strip club! NICE! lol.. i would definatly pay 20 bucks for a lap dance.. ( if im tipsy ) hah!

Ive been hanging out with Kevin a lot. the other night i went to Hamburger Marys with Paula,Kevin,Mike,Melissa, Her sister, Eddie, and this other kid Mike. It was fun

Ive also been hanging out with this girl Melanie for the past couple days. Were not dating, but were " talking " kinda thing.. u know, everyone has their own thoughts about who they can " see " themselves with, but i mean.. I am starting to learn to go for the person. I dont go for looks, or for what the person wears wor what they have to offer. I am looking for a girl with an amazing personality..
Melanie is 22, and works for dennys, she just recently got promoted for Management, so thats good. She's worked there for over 5years. She goes to school for English Literature. She has a very unique personality, very fun, outgoing, and most important POSITIVE. she keeps me laughing, and she dislikes drama, which is something i need to get away from:) thanks mel
*( i had fun pulling the all nighter with u the other night.. i needed that )*

aaron and david came over last night- we played pool, went to dennys 2 visit melanie<3 and than back to my casa for some amazing conversations. lol

So apparently i am doing pretty good, keeping calm about issues id normally explode about

I miss my brothers so much, i cried the other night thinking about it.. as much as i hurt them, i think i wanna talk to them about stuff, and just give them both a hug.. but right now, they are discusted with me.
so i will back off for a little while

Anyway,
I am on the dilly, and im not looking for a girlfriend, i am looking for more friends, and maybe possibly a nice girl to get to know, and what happens happens......

Tonight, Dinner, Beach , Home,get dressed and off to colisiuem

Im out
talk to you all la ter

xoxo love lauren

long time no type. lol

2004-11-07T16:57:07Z

whats up yall?
i havent updated this thing in about two weeks or so, well heres a litte update.. i have been working MAD HOURS at cheeburger.. waitressing, bartending, double shifts every day... $$$.. im tired. i havent really been hanging out with my crew to much lately.. there kinda mad at me for that, because its been sleep, wake up go to work, go home go to sleep, wake up go to work etc.. and i mean, dont get me wrong, i miss all my friends- kev,charlie,alf,rodney,manda,heather,alex,angel,melanie..its like blah:( im gonna stop picking up these shifts.. this is it! i am going to Cathode on wednesday! I am going to Colisieum there, and i know i keep saying im gonna go, and i always end up selling out..well, ill arrive alone, and u will see me there and understand:) YAY. so this week i work every day, but i think during the day.. 10:30-4, which is good. ill have my nights off.. somewhat- lol. but yea, i went to tampa b out 2weeks ago was it.. damn feels like yesterday, it was fun. i had alone time with my girlfriend for 3days, specialness** we had a lot of fun, and good times like always, i miss her so much and i love her. baby if ur reading this, i LOVE you.. omg, i had this dream last night that i snuck out of the house and drove up to brandenton or something, its like an 3hours north of here, and i went to some halloween house party thing, and i was dressed up and i had a sord, and i kept hitting this guy with a mask... than i think i wanted 2 do a fake out, so i took off his mask and it was my girlfriend. i was like BABY! what in the world are u doing here, and i starting making out with her so aggressively.. wow. i love those kinds of kisses.. there like OH MY G-D fuck me~ lol. jkjk.. anyway my girlfriend is babysitting right now, and im about to go out to boca to meet my grandparents for the day, see there new house, and go for qan early bite out with them.. later 2nite, im actually going out with 1/2 the crew, plus my work crew.. this is gona be NICE!!
anyways, im at a highpoint, im feeling so good about myself..
i dont really talk to my old three best friends, elaina,ben and jason all that much anymore, seems like less drama without them..dont get me wrong, i love them. there great people, but since ive drifted myself away from them.. seems like im happier, meeting new people, working, just livin it up:) but u all will always be in my heart.. for sure!!

so i got the new sidekick phone. its kickass..!

we had a STAFF FOH meeting @ work yesterday, that was great.. lol melissa comes in hungover, tiffany and ashley come in wearing PJAYS, zak and them come in shoving donuts down their throat, and like everyone else was just quiet..and usually im the loud one there, im called the " unique,sarcastic funny one.. they say im one of a kind and im the bestest! lol. so i come in strolling along in my work clothes..everyone was like omg, look at lauren in the morning..shes so quiet. i was like wait what happened? and i just sat down next to melissa ( who saved me a seat ) so where did my servesafe certificate go? i need to hand that in ASAP...

i made an awesome oldies mix, i love it- im gonna listen to it on the way up to boca;P

im wearing the cutest outfit.
khacki skirt, blach DKNY shirt with a pink shirt underneath it, layering.. and yea..its hard to explain, matching pink sandals, matching khaki hat, and.. hot sunglasses, and a rainbow bracelet on my left hand, and all my other bracelets etc on my right hand..

so get this ~> in tampa, i was walking around ybor with my girlfriend, and someone stopped me and thought i was famous and asked me for money.. that was the SECOND time in like 2months someone has specifically stopped me and asked me for money, lol. first time was at a bar, and this guy goes excuse me, u look wealthy, can i have some money. lol the owner overheard him and kicked his skanky ass out

im done rambling about my life

my girlfriend is amazing

thanksgiving its coming upp.and i think my babys comin down woop woop!

omg i just realized in one MONTH is my 1 year with my baby...

so many things to look forward to:

Dec 24th- 1 year ANN
Jan1- New years!
Feb 14- Valentines day
ok im a nerd.. let me stop there:P!!!

xoxoxo
love u all

off to boca in a few xoxoxxo

love always

lauren soon to be penella <33

fun day:)

2004-10-09T23:57:01Z

Hey there
It's 7:45pm.. i worked today from 10-5 bartending, it was hard as shit- lol i think i made the drinks right, had no complaints:) im a good imaginary measurer... lol.. made some money 2day:P
tomorrow i work 12-8 12-4 serving, and 4-8 bartending
fun stuff.. so i got home by 5ish-- and i got a call, some people are heading out to the art bar tonight, i really dont feel like going to any str8 places anymore- maybe once in a mother fucking blue moon- but yeah, than a lot of people are going to amanda's friend jack's house. ive heard so much about this kid, finally ill meet him- lol. coli crew will b there. NICE! i love u all.. i found out little jason moved to south carolina- im gona miss him so much-! armando was at collisiem last night, that was the most fucking random thing ever.. my fake ID is working out amazing- lol! yay fun fun.. seeing kevin last night rocked so much, lol. i LOVEE u! So i finally saw the girl that liked me and tried getting w me while im with my gf....she was at collisieum last night, she kept looking at me with nasty looks- sowwie chawlie.. lol. im just chilling here on the comp.. listening to the simple plan song- welcome to my life- im driving up to tampa on the 22nd and coming back on the 25th.. what the hell r my halloween plans..its on a sunday, i kinda wish i was with my girlfriend in a weird way, but im seeing her 5 days b4 that-- ill prob go to a halloween party @ coli or one of my friends houses.. i doubt ill work that night, since i never work nights, well occasionally.. but anyway, i just talked to christina ,shes goin to dinner w/ her family ( have fun baby ) shes so cute:P did i ever mention on here that i LOVE her , and that im in LOVE with her, and i dream about marrying her all the time... i get all giddy thinking about her:P lol. im hoping to go up there for Thanksgiving(she has to talk to her parents) if not, im staying home- TRU..either way, im str8- well not literally..but yeah... lol.. " She's gayer than a doorknob " .. what THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? lol someone said that to my friend today about me, at work. lol. i was like what ! lol ... in DECEMBER, christina and i are planning on going to KEY WEST_! sounds like a plan stan!
Anyway, thats all for now.
take care:P
stay happy
love u all mwah xoo love laur

a gay boy version of me- wow

2004-10-09T00:35:10Z

so i just got off the phone with my bestest friend in the world.. the gay guy version of me! KEVIN!!! my husband- lol. i loveee u!! tonight is gonna be the shit, everyone..and im talkin everyone cathode,alabi,gsa crew, bla bla bla.. theyre all goin to coli..me n my crew- kev,adam,the twins (loveya) amanda,dante,mannie,alfonso,bobby(sour Apple long island iced tea's 3 mother fuckin dollars.. :P :P , orion,charlie,alfred,his sister.. everyone and their mother is going-! im so excited -- kevin and i are matchin-! hes wearing a pink hollister shirt n jeans n pink sandals..and im wearing a tight fitting pink shirt (DKNY)and my brazillian jeans-- lol, and pink sandals..me n kevin- are gona look pimp as hell--! " cause were who everyone wants to be " ..so damn full of ourselves..maybe kevin and i will go up on stage and take our shirts off-! lmao- been there, done that, tru tru... how bout the time christina and i made out on stage at a str8 place- (cheers) LMAO... for sho! anyway, wed night i went to Gatsby's with haley, str8 bar/club- wow.. ive never seen so many guys hit on me.. " im into girls," , " i am seeing a girl " " im a lesbian " .. " i dont like being hit on by guys " ..wow i had classic lines.. anyway, it was fun-- some chick flashed me i was like dude. i didnt wana see that, she had some fake hooters-- i was like, damn my girlfriends real boobs r so much hotter and turn me on:P im off to getting ready.. ttyl!
xxoo love laur

got off work early- woo!:)

2004-10-06T23:28:59Z

well im glad they cut me early today from work- for some reason i was tired as hell, and horny- :P

so i came home to nothing but hearing my mothers annoying tone of voice-! someone help me.. all i can say is thanks to my car- the love of my life-- its what takes me away from my mother. like my mom quoted " i made a mistake by having a 3rd kid " - * which would be her little angel, ME! *

(She makes me wanna screeeam)
My brothers and I don't talk anymore, which i am not upset about, i just wish sometimes i had different types of brothers, ones that dont side with the parentals 24-7 and speak for themselves.. what can i say, maybe someday they will.
( they are miles away, so i am not bothered )
On the other hand, my mothers room is 4steps away from mine-! grr-!

* Thanks to Bill for giving me 40 hrs of work a week *
* Thanks to Cathode,Alabi,the Floridian, Hamburger Mary's, Collisiuem, and Fever, for taking me away on week and weekend nights
* Thanks to my friends for spending quality time with me, my work crew/gay crew- and to my str8 friends that used to be there, and dont accept that im GAY, FUCK YOU! (ha)
* Thanks to my parents for giving me a bed to sleep on;)

I AM DONE WASTING JOURNAL SPACE ON MY SO CALLED " FAMILY "

My girlfriend- Is my life, my world, the one i want to be with forever. the one that understands me, the one that sees me clearly and understands every word that i say, the one that listens when i speak, the one that hugs and kisses me, the one that loves me, the ONLY one that has been there for me every single time i needed her, the one who drove 8hrs to see me for one hour, the one who moved down here to be with me, the one who actually loves me, the one i wanna marry, the one i wanna wake up every day to, the one i wanna have a family with, the one that motivates me, the one that can put a smile on my face at anytime, the one that brings me up when im knocked down,the one that is beautiful inside and out:) I love you baby:) And someday, my fucking family is gonna love you and see who u really are, and if that day never comes, than u and i will have a wonderful life without them so " FUCK THEM " ,like u always say " be the better and bigger person "..for sure:) As long as i have you, thats all i want:)

Tonight is wednesday, i may go to cathode, not sure if im in the mood for that whole, deal tonight- lol.

Tomorrow I work from 10-4:

Anywho, Im gonna go make some plans jan!

Holler Back! woop woop!

And for all of u that think im angry, im not-! its you, who is angry... so lighten up, its a beautiful day, feel good:) love u! :P :P: :P

whats up people!

2004-10-06T00:25:15Z

hey there,
wow.. everything is falling into place...
as i sing the song
" I dont wanna fall to peices, i just wanna sit and stare at YOUUUUUUUU! " - Avril Lavigne..

WOW! so yesterday was my day off, and i figured why not make something memorable out of it.. ::thinks to self ::
ok, im going to tampa.. so i briefly search my buddy list to see whose online and would b willing to take a little adventure, as im rushing to get on Map Quest for directions- Planning to leave in the next 30min to get there by the time my girlfriend gets off work to surprise her..since im so called the not so romantic type nemore, yet i wrote her a song, ive written her poems, rose pedals on the bed, with rose pedals spelled out " I LOVE YOU " with her favorite candy scattered on the bed- i made her a 22nd surprise bday party, i spoil her like crazy, tell her how i feel and make her feel so special-! (Yeah I have hurt her in the past..but after i tell you this, You may understand why)
About One year ago, I was single, and i just wanted to meet someone, guy/girl, someone that can accept me for who i am, what i like, and my views on life- not looking for anything serious Christina ( My girlfriend ) decided to drop me an IM.. meanwhile..it all began there, i FELL HEAD OVER HEALS FOR THIS GIRL. thats when i pretty much knew, okay, its time to come out since i am going to be dating a girl, why hide.. Yes yes, I had my insecurities, how my family, friends, co- workers, aquaintences, etc would handle it.. As most of my close friends know, I was never really into Clubs, Bars, going out all that much.. Until I began to realize I needed to meet more people like me ( im not saying im not normal, just needed people that would understand me better ).. and know exactly where im coming from... So i came out slowly, but in a confid ent way. I started holding her hand ONLY on south beach, cause I knew it was accepted.. than we began to go to a Local Bar " cathode ray " where i knew there were gay men, and woman there, which there we met a bunch of great people to socialize with. We started going to Gay Events, GSA things, Proms, etc- ( Now my best friend Kevin is the president of GSA YAY!! ) this year is going to rock on:) So than i started gradually going to places i used to go, and lightly hold her hand there, all i could possibly think and say to her was " whose watching, what are they saying, shit i know him, i cant do this, and began getting frusturated..as she would always pull me aside and say baby, ( as her hand is resting on my heart ) she said " BABY, whats your HEART telling u to do... I stepped back, thought a minute, and we went along the strip on south beach walking-/talking etc.. So when i came out to my family, it actually was easy.. they kind of already figured something was up, when I was 15 years old I would check out girls, and tell my mom I was interested in kissing girls.. Who knows what ran through her mind-- When I was 15 I started obsessing over girls, because i wanted to be close with them- Carol Shanefeld,Hannah, Lauren Frank,Elaina,Jessica,Diana ( in vero ) Lauren Walleser.. I was nuts. I always wanted to be near them, talk to them, hold them arm and arm " like friends do "in the mall, yet i would get that feeling like " i want more " So than I realized, I am not accomplishing anything by obsessing over a straight girl... THEDILLY.COM comes in handy, its a striaght/bi,gay website, and I put that i was Bisexual on it, and see what responses Id recieve.. So back to Christina and I.. After about 2months of us dating, I was pretty much Out.. Now some of my friends either A. Havent came out yet, or B. Have, but there parents took it horribly, and cried for months, even years " . My parents are the type to accept anything, and want me to be happy. They dont like the fact that I flaunt it, but in reality, I'd like for people to know Who i am, and that im Proud. I dont do anything for attention, and soon some of you will realize that, I feel so relieved. I feel for a few years now Ive been bottled up, which has caused a lot of my problems with friends, and insecurities, and reasons for me being angry. Everyone has their issues, dont get me wrong, but im not using it as an excuse, just saying what I feel. Meanwhile, While I dated christina, After a month, I randomly not meaning to met a guy, who I strongly dislike talking about because it was a huge mistake, and I convinced her to allow me see him too. My feelings for him werent the feelings I had with her, I felt very, I cant descirbe it. Maybe cause he was much older than me, and in a sense watched over me, it was weird.. I dealt with him for 3months- BIG MISTAKE... caused a lot of emotional problems for Christina and I. Now her and I are back on track, I surprised her yesterday at her work, I havent seen her in 2months, and It was absoloutly amazing, I felt that i fell in love with her all over again, the minute she hugged me, i skipped a heart beat, my arms were overwhelmed with her soft arms, that gave me goosebumps-! She got off work early, and we Went to Bennigans ( Her favorite resturaunt ) I love making her happy. She took me to a Bar she went to on her 21st bday and we played pool... Shes such a cute girlfriend, she went to the jukebox and played " Just wanna be with you- Enrique Inglesias - and than Simple Plan- Id do anything.... She is soo cute:P whats even cuter was, when she would miss a shot, id reward her with kisses. I am so in love with her. and I think her moving back to Tampa was a great move. Not only did I realize, but she did to, how much better things are, and how we are going to have a healthy relationship, full of trust, laughter, and LOVE. I love with all my heart, now its my time to really prove things to her.
I have faith in us
I have the confidence, in me
I love her
I love me
thats all that it takes in a relationship
I am feeling so good right now, I'm at a very high point right now, and I am going to make it stay there-
Take care, those are my thoughts on christina

another long cheeburger day..

2004-09-29T00:06:16Z

hello hello..
well ive been working crazy motha effin hours.. i worked today from 930am-730pm.. tomorrow and thurs, 10am-10pm crazyness dude.. hey money is awesome though.. im lookin forward to halloween horror nights with my baby! 2nights 3days ramada inn hotel, park passes etc! YAY! were gonna spend our 10month ann doing that.. so her and i were thinkin about taking a break, but we decided not to give up.. cause it isnt worth it..we both know we cant live without one another, i mean we prob can..but itd b HARD as heck..and i mean, i cant even go a day without talkin to her.. meanwhile it sucks i cant go to thanksgiving with my family.. ill prob stay home alone and work;) anyone wanna join. lol jk.. i mean, im trying to get along w/ my parents and all..my dad is awesome.. for some reason i feel im bonding with him a lot easier.. my mom is questionable..its funny she likes my brothers gf, and not mine.. i mean i called my mom the other day, and she hung up w me cause she was on the fone w/ my bros girl.. so i was like oh hell no. lol his girlfriend is so nice and all but.. i mean my mom dropped me.. but w/e.. she chose jen over me for thanksgiving weekend..so happy ann to mama and papa, and happy bday jen..and have a lovely weekend people. lol.. im not mad, im just confused about the whole deal.. my bro dates a girl for 3months and shes invited to all this ..and mine doesnt get invited to anything.. all i have to say is.. blah lol.. and ive already put in my head, that i will not go to my cousins bat mitzvah next march without my girlfriend. done. its not immature its how i feel. if its so called accepted.. than prove yourself. its enough of the " if ur happy blah blah blah " im so gay.. its ridiculous. im sorry im not a tomboy and u couldnt see it 3 years ago, i know how i feel in my heart.. i dont just look at girls for shits and giggles, i dont have jessica simpson cutouts in my room, and rainbow shit all over, and gay stickers on my car, and i dont go to gay clubs and bars for a laugh.. i go cause i feel thats my home. i feel thats where i feel most comfortable, i accept who i am, and im glad i do ..some people dont come out till there much older, and im sorry i wasnt what u expected me to be.. im sorry i dont want a nice, jewish guy etc.. so sorry.. nothing wrong with a nice, down to earth girl, anyway, enough about my sexuality, i dont even tell anyone im gay anymore, they usually know, cause im either seen somewhere, or i wear a rainbow bracelet.. if anyone asks... " yes i am " .. thats it.. so anyway, im going to call my girlriend, have a lovely day. and i shall update soon. see ya
xox love lauren

hurricane jeanne blows!

2004-09-25T22:54:16Z

hey everyone
havent updated on here in a while:) everything has been just dandy, myy gf and i arent doing so well.. but i am trying to get that off my mind right now, i am working 7days a week, 50 hours, lovely. my manager called me this afternoon and we talked about opening the store tomorrow... which personally i dont think is a good idea. rumor has it, i may become assistant manager. I am already shift manager, which kicks ass :: has managers card:: and takes control while manager leaves. anywho, ive been goin out lately with friends, livin it up. BOBBY- i owe u. i know.. my fake ID is getting mailed to me on monday, so i shall get it by wednesday..just in time eh?
When i get my fake ID, i am off to FEVER ( lesbian club ) with the guys, and girls:) This should be interesting, a COLLISIUEM version of a girl club. this is great. ::brings glowsticks::
I have to go watch the fucking news, bill kamal rocks, i met him a couple months ago, he was at gay prom speaking. splendid. hope everyone stays safe..
much love to u all
xoxo love lauren

up all night, can't sleep

2004-09-21T05:14:14Z

I took a 3hour nap from like 7-9:30,
Wow, im so awake! whats up everyone? Today was okay, nothing to exciting happened.. work wasnt to fun, lots of new people starting there, stefanie got fired (* sorry hun *) she was def a kick ass person. my new manager is cool, except hes trying to play " Mr New Manager " .. which i guess thats what he is. lol.. instead of being a little kid and playing " House ". I feel like we are all playing " Work " .. hehe* I am working tomorrow from 12-8, and wednesday from 12-4ish.. im trying to pick up shifts this weekend.. this weekend is actually gonna be kickass, between tomorrow night GAY SKATE, wednesday- Cathode, Friday- Collisiuem, or the Lesbian bar ( Fever ), Saturday- Cathode, or movies and dinner w/ the Bradman!- Thanks for everything, thanks for not going to sleep till you know I'm okay:) I didn't realize you were actually a really good person to talk to.. Sunday- I play on going to the beach and tanning.. Whoever wants to come, great!
This weekend, I plan on seeing Charlie,Brad,Eddie,Stefanie,Tiffany,Brad,Ron,
I am gonna try and get together with Ben and Elaina, right now Elaina is sick.. i love u. get better hun!!
SHIT! i forgot, Saturday is Yom Kippour:) That's family time. And I will be apologizing to g-d, a lot:) I am changing. COMPLETELY.. I already made my new friends.. I am doing whats good for lauren. As of now, I am just listening to music, Not pop though. I hear POP is the WORST music to listen to, when trying to get over the one you loved. This is def true, all the songs are about Love, Breaking up, life stuff.. etc:)
I feel like writing a story. No tears for me right now.. I can't afford them. I afford to be happy. I deserve to be happy. I changed my dlly page, I am not looking for anyone, I am looking for a friend, and Hey, If something happens, I'll take it from there, I am not physically going OUT to look for someone, I'd like to meet someone though, I am a people person.. what can i say? Anyhow, I am signing off, its 1:15 in the morning, Gotta go!
Have a great night! Talk to you all later
Love, Lauren :)

*~ Taking a chance ~*